The thick smoke bellowing from daily politics is getting more toxic. It’s not like you can leave a room or close a window. You read it, see it and look for it on TikTok. Sometimes it oozes into friendly conversations.
The English novelist George Orwell said of politics: “In our age, there is no such thing as keeping out of politics. All issues are political issues, and politics itself is a mass of lies, evasions, folly, hatred and schizophrenia.” The quote seems especially profound today.
Often overwhelmed, I have joined the crowd seeking a few minutes to raise the window to smell the fresh air of peacefulness.
Sitting in church recently, I found that window has been there for years: It’s the continuing soft interaction between a mother and her child.
Sometimes, those interactions have been tough and noisy. But, the mom’s grace in dealing with it has always given me a smile, along with the “good news,” as they say in the Baptist church, that all is well.
The source is Nikki Pea Williams and son, Nicholas, now 11. Nicholas has autism. A quick medical definition is that autism involves a wide range of conditions characterized by challenges with social skills, repetitive behaviors, speech and nonverbal communication. About 1 in 36 children are affected in some way by autism.
Some autistic children require significant support in their daily lives, while others are highly skilled with only functioning problems. Either way, the news can be devastating to some parents.
Nikki said her son didn’t show real signs of a problem until after his first birthday. She took him to a therapist.
“She looked at me, and I could tell that lady saw something that was really wrong,” she said. Months later, “Nicholas just lost everything. ... He wouldn’t engage anymore.”
She and her husband had so many plans for him. So many dreams appeared dashed.
“We wanted his trajectory in life to be so different. I wanted him to be bilingual by the time he was 5 years old. ... But God said you don’t operate on your plans, you operate on his plan,” she said.
“So I just switched gears and put him into therapy right away and started something different.”
Since his earliest days, I was aware that her son was different in church. I could see the range of Nikki’s emotions when Nicholas seemed restless or annoyed. Sometimes, it caught the attention of other congregants.
She noted that New St. John Baptist Church pastor the Rev. W. Marshall Myles “would say after church: ‘Don’t worry about him making noise. It’s OK’ ... You know, everybody has always been so super understanding.”
Over the years, the actions have calmed. But autism comes with a price.
“I can’t take him to football games outside because the crowd noise and interactions would be too much for him. I can’t do a lot of things,” she said. “But I have found time to give myself a break,” adding that her ex-husband participates in Nicholas’ development.
“Sometimes I am emotionally and physically exhausted ... but all of this has led me closer to Christ,” she said.
“I have sometimes found time with family, friends and my sorority (Delta Sigma Theta) sisters,” she said. “I have realized that I am not perfect. ... Everything is going to be OK at some point.”
She has found time for her job as a pharmaceutical sales rep and her role as chair of a national sales network.
After years of therapy, hugs and positive reinforcement, Nicholas is in middle school. He is doing a lot better. “He is a lot more independent. ... He has played the piano, trumpet and now the drums. He is better with his speech.”
His mom noted he’s also doing much better in school: “He doesn’t need me around all the time.”
“In the autism community, everything is so different. Each child is completely different,” she said. “We lean on each other. ... You can say this is the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life ... but this is about Nicholas and what’s best for him.”
“My biggest concern is where he is going to be 30 years from now, when I may not be here. I want so much for him to be independent and that he can take care of himself. It is a hard thing to think about.”
Yes, the words of Nikki and the love and hope she has for her son offer a breath of fresh air in the daily combustible mix of politics, race, anger, pain and grief. Please find your safe place.
Email Edward Pratt, a former newspaperman, at epratt1972@yahoo.com.