I don't have a category for Worst Ride Ever, but if I did it would include this story by Nancy Van Den Akker, of New Orleans:
"In grad school, my roommate was an ecologist, studying the movement of rats in a meadow.
"Sometimes I would help her. She would set live traps, mark the rats by snipping off a toe joint, release them, and keep track of which trap the rat would be found in later.
"Once, she wanted to bring some rats back to the lab for tests.
"The plastic bag they were in could not be set down, because they would chew out.
"So I rode to the lab in the front seat of a VW Bug holding a bag of rats suspended in front of me, with their little faces pressed against the plastic, glaring at me.
"The rats were returned to the meadow later."
Farewell to arms
"When I was 12, I wanted a BB gun, but my dad said it was too dangerous," says Connie Saux, of Gretna.
"He suggested I buy a slingshot instead. I had a few dollars because I had a paper route, so I went to Security Sporting Goods on Carrollton Avenue and bought a Wham-O super slingshot.
"With my marble collection, the Wham-O was way more dangerous than a BB gun.
"When some of our neighbors complained after a few broken windows, Dad wanted to see my slingshot. That was the last time I saw that Wham-O.
"A few months ago, I was in Academy Sports and walked by the gun section. There it was — a Daisy Red Ryder BB gun.
"I could not resist. It cost more than I ever saved with my paper route, but I had to buy it."
That's all, folks!
Bo Bienvenu, of Prairieville, says, "Stories about leaving school early reminded me of the Opelousas Cajun boy, who thought first grade was a waste of time and didn’t want to go.
"His mother made him go and was surprised when he returned in an hour. She asked why he left so early.
"He said his teacher was teaching the Cajuns English and told the class, 'Say one.' Everyone said, 'One.'
"Then she said, 'C’est tout.' So I left."
Nawthun version
"Your columns about people named Gremillion reminded me of something that happened when I was teaching at LSU-Eunice," says Sanford Wood, of Eunice:
"I needed a textbook for a new course. I had seen one in the catalog by someone named Gremillion.
"When I called to order the book, I pronounced the name as we would pronounce it down here, 'Grim-ee-on.'
"The Yankee at the publishing house said they had a similar book by an author named Gruh-mill-yon.
"I responded that the guy was from Louisiana and his name was Grim-ee-on.
"Anyway, when we finally got past the language barrier, I got the book I wanted."
Say what, Coach?
"I’m surprised no one has mentioned this widely heard malapropism," says Charlie Anderson, of Shreveport:
"When Coach Hank Stram, of the Kansas City Chiefs, was miked on the sideline during the Super Bowl, he said, 'Just keep matriculating the ball down the field, boys!'”
Recalling pastel bathrooms
Marsha R., of Baton Rouge says, "On my way to a meeting, I saw the iconic Broadmoor castoff beside the garbage cans: The Old Pink Toilet."
Be prepared
"Know where I can sell my solar eclipse glasses?" asks Paul C. (aka The Kid), of Baton Rouge.
"We bought 10 pairs for family and friends.
"I will sell them very cheaply, and they have a full guarantee until Aug. 22, 2044."